The other weekend at Zürisee: bump in hiding

Why is it that as soon as you pee on that little plastic stick, your bum gets squishier than cooked butternut squash? Or is that just me? A quick straw poll amongst my pre-pregnancy cellulite-free friends revealed the same phenomenon: forget about flabby tummies. It’s squishy bums all around. And apparently, it’s the hardest thing to shake post baby.

Not one to accept unruliness in any kind or form, I thought I’d outsmart my disobedient gluteus and booked a set of PT sessions at Ten Pilates early in pregnancy. HAHA! Thanks to on-going sciatic pain, PT now stands for Physiotherapy. As opposed to Private Training that’ll give you bum cheeks made of steel. Not what I was hoping for.

On a brighter note, we’ll be leaving to St Tropez very soon. Four weeks of sunshine, sandy beaches and gorgeous food. Big M retrieved my bag with summer clothes from the basement. This is where the brightness ends. Out of 40 items, four still fitted. Three of them are pareos. Oh well, with that squishy bum of mine, at least I’ll put them to good use.

Starting to look pregnant from behind, eeeek!

At 24 weeks, Babycentre suggests ‘The tiredness you felt in the first three months may start to set in again, so take it easy.’ No kidding – I passed out on the sofa at 8:30pm last night. I am super tired, extremely clumsy and somewhat tongue-tied. The other day in Accessorize, on the hunt for a somewhat fitting bikini, I managed to gracefully clear half of the shelves with my elbow as I was trying to get hold of that size 14 top from the end of the rack. Right next to me a woman loudly bemoaning the lack of smaller sizes: ‘Urgh. Only MASSIVE sizes left.’ Cue loud sighing.

WTF?! I only managed to raise an eyebrow and shot a look at the check-out girl, who looked back at me in slight horror (‘Uh-oh, is that pregnant lady going to strangle the scrawny bitch with the size 14 top?’). Seriously, my brain is made of the same jelly that has taken control of my buttocks. Not for a million quit had I been able to come up with a suitable answer. I am still mulling over it.

• 23 weeks pregnant
• 21 weeks pregnant
• 19 weeks pregnant
• 18 weeks pregnant
• 17 weeks pregnant
• 12 weeks pregnant