Little L has been three months today. Striking a balance under the past three months seems to be almost impossible, as life without her is close to unimaginable. Again, I am surprised by how true it is what everybody says: once your baby entered your life, life without her seems like a distant memory. And: it does get easier with time.

Unfortunately, lack of sleep is still getting to me. Little L has been sleeping through for a few weeks (I know, I am blessed!), but I don’t seem to be able to catch up. I am going to bed between 9 and 10PM, don’t get up before 7AM, and I nap at least once a day. Still, I am constantly tired. Not-capable-of-driving-a-car-tired.

Nature isn’t fair in the sense that most women find it hard to sleep towards the end of their pregnancy, when all they really should do just before having a baby is sleep. In addition, a birth can be quite exhausting (so I heard…), but you never get the time to recover from it. It’s a bit like doing a sprint and trying to recover with a marathon.

I still haven’t put in the complaint against that awful midwife. In the beginning, I was just too emotional about the whole experience. I dreamt of her a few times and woke up shaking. And although I think I am over it now, I still don’t want to let her get away with this kind of behaviour. The complaint is on top of my list for things to be tackled after our vacation.

A propos vacation. I cannot wait to get away for a few days. And to have support in looking after little L. Having a husband who is working long hours and is away overnight every once in a while, gives me a taste of what it must be like as a single parent. I am not sure I would cope.

Very much to Big M’s surprise, we managed to get this far without dropping our daughter. I am not sure where he got the idea from, but he was almost convinced we would drop her at an early age. (???) We only had one health scare so far – a sore patch inside her neck’s crease. Kind of a dislocated nappy rash. Enough to make me cry and beg the receptionist to make the GP see us right away. I know, I am pathetic.

Very much to my own surprise, I am enjoying breastfeeding. After my initial struggle, I managed to find a rhythm that works for both of us. Little L falling asleep while feeding is the sweetest image I have ever seen, and I wouldn’t want to miss it for a million pounds!

Although the best experience in my life, having a baby is by far the most exhausting project I have ever taken on. The other day, I was wondering if I would ever feel broody again, and how on earth people could do it again. And again. On purpose! And then I saw this. And there was this funny twinge in my tummy…